I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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