What a fucking waste of an outfit
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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