I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
