I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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