i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
