Pappa wants mamma naked
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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