Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
