if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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