loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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