Can Purell be used as lube?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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