roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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