maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
