I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
