Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
