how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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