the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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