Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
