I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
