You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you win again, gameday.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
