they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
