i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
