Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
