I just cut my nipple shaving
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
