5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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