Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
