I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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