love makes seman taste better
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
