I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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