The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
