the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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