3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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