how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
