We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
