I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
