Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
