The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
