Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
