Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
