so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
This toilet bowl is my home.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
