she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
