Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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