Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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