Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
