mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
