...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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