I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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