he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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