he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
