Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You can't motorboat a personality
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
