I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
