mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
When did angry sex become our thing?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
