Swine flu. Run for my life!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
