I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize