making cat noises will not fix the situation.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
