im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
