But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
