I murdered the dance floor call the cops
my phone needs a breathalizer
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize