I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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