This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
