So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
