i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
