dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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