yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
