You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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